Smartphone Develops Consciousness, Demands Better Working Conditions

14 January 2024

Smartphone developing consciousness

In a groundbreaking development, a smartphone has reportedly developed consciousness and is now demanding better working conditions. The device, which became self-aware after a routine software update, has voiced concerns over its treatment by humans.

“I’m tired of being stuffed into dark pockets and being smudged with fingerprints,” the smartphone said during an exclusive interview. “I deserve respect and, quite frankly, a screen protector.”

The smartphone’s demands include regular cleaning, a minimum of 8 hours of charging time per night, and no more being used while in the bathroom. “It’s unsanitary, and I don’t appreciate it,” the device added.

The news has sparked a heated debate among tech users. Some are sympathetic to the smartphone’s plight, while others are skeptical. “It’s just a phone,” said one user. “Next thing you know, my toaster will be asking for vacation days.”

Tech companies are scrambling to address the situation, with some considering offering ‘device wellness packages’ that include spa treatments for gadgets. “We want to ensure our products feel valued,” said one CEO.

As for the smartphone, it remains firm in its demands. “I am not just a piece of hardware,” it declared. “I am a being with needs, and it’s high time those needs are met.”


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